Mourning the Loss of My Heart Dog
This year was so hard for me. I lost Jasper, my right hand guy. He was always so willing to help me with training. He was so intuitive yet he always tested everything. As a dog training business, I rely on my personal dogs so much to help me with my work. It is such a huge loss when one passes away - especially when that dog is your heart dog.
I knew Jasper was special from the moment I met him at his foster's house. He just sat back and watched while the other dogs were all over me. He was shy, timid, but had a fire in his soul that I couldn't ignore. I left his foster house and could not get him out of my mind. A week later, I went back to meet him again - just to make sure. I had no doubt. I told her he was my dog. So I adopted him. He was 11 months old.
Jasper loved anything I did. He was always watching me with an intensity that pierced right through you. I've never lost a dog that punched such a hole in my heart. The hardest thing was seeing his mind and body start to fail him. He still wanted to do things with us, but his hips were hurting, he didn't travel well, and he would get mad when I helped him into the truck.
I'm a firm believer that every dog teaches us a lesson and every dog is given to us for a reason. Jasper taught me that dogs don't fit into the cookie cutter of purely positive training. They are so much smarter than that. Jasper got me through the hardest years of my life. He was right there patiently waiting for me. He would make me laugh when I cried. He was always there for me. He was so good at helping me with my business. He would sit and wait patiently down the street while I worked with a client and their dog. He would buffer for dogs when I was pack walking a group - if that dog was scared of dogs barking in a yard, he would go around the outside of the group and move himself between the insecure dog and the barking dog. I taught him to shut doors - which helped me immensely when I pet sat a feral Poodle that was a puppy mill rescue. Jasper could get close to him but I couldn't. So when the dog came in the house, I would have Jasper go shut the door behind him so he couldn't run back out into the yard. He was an incredible partner and the best friend I ever could have asked for. I would ask him if he wanted to help? And he would puff up his chest and look so proud like, "I'm ready, mom! What are we doing today?" He loved his job so much.
He would sing with me in the car and his favorite songs were "Proud to be an American", and the "Star Spangled banner." He would sing with me to those. There was one time where we recorded a video he sang "This is Me" with me and we tagged Keala Settle from the Greatest Showman in it. She shared it on her Instagram. So he was famous for a minute. He was with me through so many life changes - 7 moves from Nebraska to Minnesota to Montana. Through getting my heart crushed by a boyfriend to marrying Dan and having William. I knew Dan, (my husband,) and his son were a good people when Jasper liked them right away. He had a sense about people. He would take months to warm up to some people, minutes for others. He was very attentive to helping me with baby William - even letting me know when he had a poopy diaper.
Jasper struggled with William once he started crawling because William wanted to go right for him. We worked very hard on moving away instead of confronting. He really did so good with that. He also struggled with William's energy once William got older - he wanted to control his energy. We had to give Jasper lots of breaks by himself in the bedroom - which broke his heart too. Moving to our apartment with no back yard and a small space was very hard on him - but he loved Montana so much. You can see it in his eyes. He was at home here. He loved our many adventures. When I visit our old spots, I tear up thinking about him being with us. Retirement was so hard on him - he loved his job and not having it anymore was hard - but I could tell he wasn't as up to par for work as he used to be.
Putting him down was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I have hope that I will see him again someday. If God sent him to me, surely he is keeping him for me up there too.
When the vet was putting him to sleep, I told him, "That'll do boy. Your work here is done. Thank you for your years of help. I'll see you again someday my friend." While the pain is still raw months later, knowing he isn't in pain or suffering is also a relief. I miss him so much. I doubt there will ever be another dog like him. He was truly a gift from God. What I wouldn't give for one more day with him...
Back when I was Johanna's Dog Training Johanna and Young Jasper Jasper loved our Minnesota River time William and our dogs on one of our many woodland adventures. Jasper and Shiny on a Minnesota dock in the fall. Jasper experiencing Montana for the first time. Gallatin National Forest On the Mountain Top - Magpie Gulch, Helena, Montana He loved our Montana adventures. Canyon Ferry Lake - Townsend, MT Our last big adventure - Lorelai Day Use Area, Helena, Montana His goofy side - most people didn't see because he was so serious when he was working
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